Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Today I updated my Geni profile to say this:
I'm a web developer for the UCSF School of Pharmacy. I have lived in San Francisco with Patrick Ryan since 2000. We have been registered domestic partners with California since October 18, 2001. For our own reasons, Patrick and I are waiting before choosing marriage.
I sometimes get questions about same-sex marriage, and I don't always know who in my family does and doesn't support it. If you haven't expressed your support to me, then I can only presume that you don't agree with my 8-year relationship with the person I love.
The institution of marriage has had a long history, and if you're not familiar with how it has changed over the centuries, I encourage you to learn more:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
The debate about same-sex marriage continues, but I think everyone can agree that:
- Advocates of same-sex marriage see the issue as one of equality, civil rights, intolerance, and bigotry.
- Opponents of same-sex marriage see the issue as one of morality, usually based on religious beliefs.
- Marriage is a legal union recognized by our governments.
- Marriage is commonly, but not always, also a religious union.
- America was founded on the firm belief of a separation of church and state.
If we agree about all this, why can't marriage be permitted as a legal union recognized by our government while also not permitted as a religious union by some organizations of faith? We should be able to have different beliefs without the state's involvement and without churches encouraging changes in law that remove the rights of the minorities with which they disagree.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Proposition_8_(2008)#Proponents
Same-sex marriage opponents point to civil unions and domestic partnerships as a solution, but they are not equivalent in spirit or in law. Are my domestic partner and I granted the same respect and dignity as a married couple? No. Can we say that we are married and have it mean the same thing as when a married man and a woman say it? No. When I travel outside of California, do I still have all the same rights as a person who is married? No. Separate is not equal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_union
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_partnership
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separate_but_equal
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second-class_citizen
If you believe that same-sex marriage or my relationship with Patrick harms you or your family, I invite you to a civilized discussion to help me understand your views.
Usual oatmeal breakfast. Edited and uploaded photos. Errands downtown. Today I found our missing egg beaters in the utensils drawer right where we had expected them to be. Patrick says aliens brought them back. Hemmed a pair of jogging pants for Danny. House chores: laundry, cleaning, amputagging. Dinner at home with Patrick: salad, pizza delivery. Stretches. Bookmarks pruning. Thanks, everyone, for all the fine birthday wishes. Still working my way through all the thankyouing. Stretches.